White people, we need to talk…

Hello fellow melanin-deprived folks of Turtle Island. Its time we had a chat. You know and I know, shits not going so well. We’re all over the place. Either you are one of the uber “woke” crowd and you’ve cancelled everyone in your life who won’t say the words, “I’m white and I’m a racist” OR, you identify as one of the “good” liberals and just “treat everyone the same” (which honestly is not really possible in this country the way our systems are set up!)OR, you are racist AF and voted for Trump.

Truly, those are the three categories we find ourselves in. I’d like to add one that is less problematic for the health of us all. Let’s call her the anti-Karen. She’s loving, kind, empathetic, introspective and thoughtful. Maybe she’s read Audre Lorde or James Baldwin or Franz Fanon and is wondering how to be a part of the solution of the deep pain she’s reading about rather than being complict in it. Or, maybe she’s a connoisseur of movies about how badly the justice system has failed most BIPOC and yet, knowing it was set up to do just that, there literally is no shortage of them (the 13th, When They See Us, Exterminate All the Brutes, Judas & The Messiah, etc.) She’s involved with other white organizations who are educating themselves about how BIPOC experience the world and considers herself to be an anti-racist who’s mission is to reach out to other white folks and inspire them to look deeper. Maybe you are curious as to how we all got to the place where 74 million people saw what we all saw and thought, yep, I want 4 more years of that, then when it didn’t go their way, they decided to throw a temper tantrum at the Capital killing people who tried to stop them? Are you someone who sees it, doesn’t get why other’s don’t and just aren’t willing to cancel your families and friends without trying to bridge the gap of understanding?

Welcome to the club! Its small, but mighty, and growing, thankfully. Its not an exclusive one, the numbers are low because of the lack of awareness that we even exist. I am going to try and change all of that. When I tell people there is another way to be with regards to all of these divisive ideas and listen rather than judge, its met with blank stares and a “does not compute” look on most of their faces. Many get defensive and hear I’m telling them they’re wrong, which maybe sometimes I am. Its not meant to be a shaming, but a correcting assumptions that people have less information about than they know. Honestly, if people would stop being binary about racial justice and understand its an entire system that we need to transform, starting with ourselves, then we can start asking the questions white supremacy requires that we don’t. Starting with, why are there so many disparities down racial lines when it comes to how we all experience the world? Its the education system to the justice system to the health care system to our monetary system; its from our religious institutions to our housing and our mental health facilities. Literally EVERY system you can name, there are multiple points of view and yet, white folks view most of those systems favorably, because they were designed by and for them/us. I get it, this is a bummer to consider it all. I promise this is not bad news… its GREAT news, because we truly CAN do something about it.

I promise, its not that difficult, however, it means you need to let go of what you think you know about it all. You do need to open your mind and your heart to the warmth and generosity that you give your closest friends and family. My suggestion is, you bring your absolute best, most loving self to these conversations. You know who that is, the one you’re proud of being when you feel good about yourself, the one who feels generous and loving because you are so filled up by your purpose or people around you? We all have glimpses of her, maybe not as much as we’d all like, but I’m going to request we cultivate that loving kindness and access it when addressing the difficult issues of race in the United States of America. Maybe access it when you pick up that copy of Malcolm X’s autobiography you’ve been meaning to read? Or, perhaps, watching another news report of an unarmed Black person who was killed by a police officer or vigilante, why not look through the lens with your empathetic self, instead of your righteous, judgmental self?

I have a very unhidden agenda here. I want to transform our nation and our world. I want us to lead with compassion and joy when it comes to race relations, rather than hate and fear. I see how small we all become and how little joy is in our lives when we stay separated and pretend we are not a continent with a diverse population, ethnically, racially and who speak different languages. We’re screaming at the top of our lungs “no justice, no peace” and “Black Lives Matter” because there are those of you who think they don’t or believe justice is being served because you have not experienced injustice on a daily basis. Its not good for any of us, this need to scream for our reproductive rights while more children live in poverty in a country we claim cares about liberty and freedom for all. The truth is, the sentiment, none of us are free until all of us are free is accurate and until my BIPOC friends and families lives are as important to you as your friends and families lives, then we will be on opposite sides and the division and anger will continue. But, it doesn’t have to. There are reasons for it, maybe ask yourself, why? Why are there white folks examining their own “whiteness”? Why is that neccesary, isn’t that what the racists do? Yes, yes it is, however, their version of examining it is, how much more power they have than BIPOC and when they are afraid they are losing power, they assert it with violence; physical, verbal, economic, etc. The way an anti-racist is examining their “whiteness” is how to dismantle it, not weaponize it. See the difference? I sure hope so… because we need you to survive.